The retirement of George Bush buys battery

George W Bush is clearly enjoying himself. Alone on the stage, mic in hand, he tells a story about a moment earlier this year when he was walking his dog, Barney, around the Dallas suburb he now calls home. "I wanted to say hello to my neighbours," says Bush, "because I was worried we'd inconvenienced them when word was out that George Bush was moving where they lived. I hadn't walked in a neighbourhood in eight years. Ain't that interesting? Barney had never walked in a neighbourhood either ... he only knew the lawn of the White House; he only knew Crawford, Texas, he only knew Camp David."

Laura asked him to go out and buy a battery from the local  hardware store.

He decided to go up to a neighbour and say hello, Bush tells us. But just as he goes to shake the neighbour's hand, Bush realises that he still has a plastic poop bag covering his hand like a glove.